


I Was Scattered and Lost In Love

by HeroSavesPeople



Category: The Flash (TV 2014), westallen
Genre: Angst, F/M, Not smut but steamish, Post-breakup, Pre-Reconciliation, Romance, Westallen AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-09 20:40:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13489350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeroSavesPeople/pseuds/HeroSavesPeople
Summary: Deleted/alternate scene from The Minutes and the Hours Pass. Barry misses Iris and feels the loss of the last three months without her.





	I Was Scattered and Lost In Love

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to those that have reviewed and shown support for the story, you guys are the best!! This was supposed to come out sooner but traveling derailed me on top of the fact that for whatever reason, something feels missing from this piece but oh wells, it wasn't meant to even happen to begin with so I'll give myself a pass for the moment :P Hope you guys enjoy it and I would love to hear your thoughts!

They walk slowly, her building just past the alleyway.  He's dragging his feet and he hopes she's doing the same.  He peeks a look at her from the corner of his eyes before stopping abruptly and reaching for her arm. 

 

"Hey, do you have to go right away?  Are you in a rush,  I mean, do you-can we, um, talk?  Just for a little bit longer?"

 

She looks up at him, contemplating, before nodding. "Yeah, sure.  I can spare a few minutes."  She looks behind him at the crowd of people walking back and forth.  "We should probably step to the side though.  Don't want to get trampled again."

 

They step into the alley, away from the crowd and Iris leans her shoulder against the brick wall, her hands in her pocket.  Her shoulders are hunched forward a little and though her coat is thicker than his, she seems to be colder.  He wanted nothing more than to close the distance between them and hold her close in his arms.  Breathe into her skin, warm her with the heat of his breath, the touch of his blazing skin against hers. 

 

But, he doesn't.  He holds himself back, standing in front of her as he mirrors her posture.  However, unlike Iris who is warding off the cold, he's warding off the impulse to touch her.

 

She inspects him for a moment and Barry wonders what she's thinking.  "I haven't seen you with a beard in a long time," she says nodding toward his face.

 

His hand leaps up to his face without thinking and he self-consciously rubs at the layer of the beard he had been growing.  It was really the most he's ever been able to grow but it was enough to make him look like a grizzly homeless man.  Or rather a 'cute homeless man' as Iris would say on the rare occasion he'd forgo shaving.  But, he knew his present state was unlike anything she had seen on him.  "Oh! Yeah, I've, uh, been neglecting my face I guess," he mumbles.

 

She studies him with keen eyes and while he's pleased she's looking at him with anything other than hurt and anger in her eyes, he can't help but feel a little self-conscious.  What was she thinking?  Was the haggard appearance throwing her off?  Did she hate it?  Did it make him look pathetic?  Did _she_ think it made him look pathetic?

 

He clears his throat to distract himself.  "How's the article coming along?"

 

Iris cocks her head to the side. "Oh which one?" 

 

"The one you were working on.  A few months back."

 

"Oh!  Yeah, I'm actually all done with that."

 

"Really?  I didn't see it in any of the papers."  Barry thinks back to the last three months.  Ever since he met Iris he made a point to pick up a copy of the Central City Picture News and read her articles.  He continued that routine daily even when got an advanced preview of it when he began dating her and he still hasn’t missed an article to this day. 

 

Iris fixes him with a familiar soft look, one that she reserved for him when he would surprise her with her favorite comfort food after a bad day or when he would change the oil in her car without being asked because he knew she'd often forget.

 

"Yeah, it’s done but waiting to be printed.  It's going to be in tomorrow's issue actually."

 

"Oh that makes sense," he murmurs.  "I'll keep an eye out for it.  I know it'll be great.  I mean you spent so many nights out researching after your interviews, I thought I'd never see you again."  He stops short, realizing the irony of his words.  

 

She picks up on the misstep and smiles tightly.  "Yeah, a lot of sleepless nights," she diverts.  "But, it'll be good.  It'll give victims their voices back and I'd do it again if it meant helping the people that couldn't speak up."

 

"I know you would," he says with affection and pride.  "Even if it means making those that love you go prematurely gray with worry."

 

Iris lets out a burst of laughter. "God, that reminds me of the time I fell asleep at the local university library and Linda freaked out when she saw my bed was made the next morning.  She and Wally apparently called everyone they knew before they called my dad.  Luckily, I was awake and packing up by the time my dad got around to calling me."  She shakes her head.  "I drove poor Linda crazy when I got close to finishing the article, but I have to admit that was pretty funny."

 

Barry swallows past the sudden lump in his throat and quirks his lips up weakly.  Linda hadn't called him, she hadn't even tried.  He wondered if enough time had passed for her friends to not even consider contacting him if something had happened to Iris.

 

Another moment he missed in the last three months.  If they were still together, Iris would have stayed at his place instead of her own like she had been and she wouldn't have stayed at the library so late because she wouldn't have to worry about encroaching on Linda and Wally's alone time.    

 

It had been three months, but god it had felt endless. 

 

"I've missed you." 

 

He blurts it out without thinking and for a moment he wondered if he had actually spoken the words out loud.  But by the look on her face he knew he had and she most definitely heard them.  She looks away and it's as though she's struggling for the right words. 

 

 _No turning back now_ , Barry thinks as he slowly inches closer to her, his arm dragging against the brick wall.  He stops just in front of her until he feels the heat of her body.  She doesn't look up at him but he hears and feels her breath pick up, the edges of her coat touching his jacket. 

 

"Iris," he whispers.  He looks at her, his eyes tracing the contours of her beautiful face, the softness of her smooth dark skin. 

 

He can't help himself as he leans down, his nose just barely brushing against her skin.  She tilts her head up slightly, closing her eyes and letting out a shaky breath.  He gets closer and nuzzles away the strands of hair that frame the side of her face.  He swallows hard and he wonders is she can hear him in their close proximity.

 

" _Iris_."

 

His hands had remained at his sides but he slowly rests one hand on the wall behind Iris's head as he leans in closer, tilting his face and finally capturing her lips in his.

 

For a moment, neither move, simply reveling in this moment as their lips touch, held between each others.  Then slowly he stretches his jaw and deepens the kiss and presses his body closer, closer.  Iris's hands had been hovering over the lapels of his open jacket, but she now fists her hand into the fabric, gripping desperately as Barry surges forward and presses her flush against the brick wall. 

 

They both let out a muffled grunt at the force but it doesn't deter them.  Barry's other hand smacks against the wall next to her head as he leverages against it to push his hips into hers.  She lets out a sharp gasp and his blood blazes at the sound, heart racing, body heating.   He slides his hand from the wall and lets his fingers get lost in her hair, feeling the soft strands as he hold her face in his hand and guides her to him.

 

He tilts his head, angling down to slant his lips across hers, catching them over and over again, his breath heavy against her lips as she rakes her fingers through his scalps, stretching her neck to return his ardor.  God, he loved her fingers in his hair.  He shivers at the sensation and flattens her against the brick wall, their bodies melding until he feels the contours of her figure against his slim frame. 

 

She lets out a shaky breath when he drags down from her lips presses his scorching lips against her throat in open-mouthed kisses, leaving the chill of the air to cool the wetness his tongue left behind.  She's pliant against him at the feel of his beard scraping against the sensitive skin of her neck.  He lifts her slightly against the length of his body and feels the ever familiar flutter in his stomach and he knows he's going to have to take care of himself later when he got home but right here, right now he wants to fuse their bodies and never have to pull away.

 

He feels something buzz against him, but pays no mind, intent on reacquainting his lips with hers.  "Barry," she gasps as he slips his hands inside her coat and restlessly roams her body.

 

" _Iris_." 

 

His fingers fumble around the buttons of her dress, itching to release them from their hold.  He feels another buzz against him before Iris pulls away from him her breath hitching in her throat.  "Barry." She brings a hand down from his hair and pushes gently against his shoulder. 

 

He pulls his lips away from her skin with a loud smack as he stumbles away in mortification, his heart thudding in his chest rapidly.  "I'm sorry," he pants.  "I'm so sorry."   And he was. He hadn't intended to get carried away and he was ashamed at himself for doing so. He was on thin ice as it was and he had just let things escalate fast.

 

Iris leans against the wall, breathing heavily, her hand fluttering over the hollow of her throat where he knew she would have a hickey by that night. 

 

"Barry, it's ok," she says softly. "Really it's ok."

 

He looks up at her and meets her eyes and sighs in relief. She wasn't upset. In fact, she looked almost as affected as he did.  Wonderfully rumpled, her lips wet with his kisses.  He licks his own tender lips at the sight of her without thinking.

 

"I just have to get back  to work. I was supposed to prep for a meeting we're having in a half hour.  That's probably them blowing up my phone." 

 

"Oh. I'm--"

 

"Barry, I swear if you say you're sorry one more time…"

 

"Right."

 

She looks at his abashed face and there's sweet affection in her eyes.  A look that would have normally lead to her gently caressing his face and kissing him softly. "It was really nice--"

 

"Can I see you tonight?" he blurts.  Maybe he was pushing his luck--he most definitely was, he knows--but he was too drunk from her scent to stop himself.  "I can cook you your favorite and I still have your brownie mix ready."

 

She looks at him with that look again and he can't help the swell of hope in his chest, but there's confliction that flickers in her eyes before she sighs. "I don't know if that's a good idea."

 

Barry swallows thickly and feels himself physically deflate, looking away.   "Oh.  I understand."  He really needed to get ahold of himself.

 

"But," his head shoots up in hope.  "You can take me to our usual Thai place," she says instead.

 

"Really? Y-yeah. I can do that."

 

"Great," she beams up at him with that smile that never failed to make his stomach storm with butterflies.  "I'll call you when I get out of work?"

 

"I can pick you up." He wants to smack himself for coming off too eager but again he's surprised when Iris agrees. 

 

"Ok." Iris straightens her hair and Barry pats himself on the back for fighting the urge to reach out and help her.  She tucks her strands behind her ear and smiles almost shyly at him.  There were those butterflies again.     
  
She takes a backward step before turning to walk out of the alley.  She stops just as she reaches the sidewalk and looks at him over her shoulder.  "Barry?  I've missed you too."  And without another word, she walks down the sidewalk and out of sight. 

 

He stands there, taking in what had just happened, feeling warm.  He places a palm to his still racing heart where he keeps Iris and the dried cracks that had encompassed that space felt healed as though he had found his home again.  His lips quirk in a hopeful smile and with a slow exhale he exits the alley with a new spring in his steps and hope in his heart.

**Author's Note:**

> God, Barry's a mess and can't help himself smh. This is a deleted/alternate scene because it was an idea that came about after the original version and I liked the original version just as it was because I wanted to keep things simple and focused on them reconciling in a more gradual way. I wanted them to take it slow resuming their relationship because clearly there were problems that needed to be tended to before things can escalate in a way that could get in the way of addressing those issues. It's so easy to get caught up in the moment like Barry and Iris just did. I like the idea of them just carefully coming back together and treading more carefully as they find their footing back into their relationship, but at the same time, this thought wouldn't leave me so I had to write it down. :P


End file.
